My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
