Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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