I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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