what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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