So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
