He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
