I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
