I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
