I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
