Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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