just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
