Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Watching her eat just hurts me
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize