If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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