dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
