That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
