Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize