nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
