I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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