i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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