Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize