I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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