I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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