when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Randomize
