is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
