So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
