gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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