my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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