CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
