And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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