I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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