I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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