You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
