my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize