would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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