i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
