if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
