Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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