how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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