New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
