i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
