I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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