so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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