You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
