So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
