Kiss
Puke
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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