Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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