I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
