So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize