Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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