And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
