You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
