Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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