M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
