She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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