I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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