...so i touched it.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
