i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I have tasted many bathrooms
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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