belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
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