"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
BRING THE BAGELS
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
