Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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