ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
