Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
