I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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