i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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