It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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