Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
