best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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