we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize